Sunday, November 12, 2006
8:16 pm
i remember when i was a little kid, the one thing i wanted most was to see what i would look like when i grew up. i would have given anything to see me grown up. i guess my looks aren't gonna change much from now till i'm 21 so thats it. this is me and i finally get to see me all grown up. i don't think i have changed much since i was young. my eyes are smaller, eyebags way bigger, lost my baby fat, gained a lot of adult fat, got blackheads, grew taller, tanner and fatter. i think thats all. now, i wish i could turn back time to when things were so much simpler. i realised that i haven't won anything in ages...i used to be such an over-achiever. by the time i was 7 or 8 i had won my first medal and after that medals and trophies just came pouring in. i have ballet certificates, speech and drama certificates, swimming awards, piano certs, certs for my school work, a ton of medals for verse speaking (i was one of the top verse speakers in my district, i beat all the english girls and i was darn proud of it), medals+trophies for gymnastics...all this was before i returned to s'pore. i participated in a lot of competitions and there was only one competition where i didn't win anything. when i came back to s'pore i won a few trophies for netball and gymnastics but not many and this was in primary school. right now, i feel completely useless! i haven't won anything in ages!!! angelica just won a trophy for some swimming thing and her head is as big as the universe! i miss how perfect i used to be. i miss my perfect grades, my perfectly toned body, my trophies and medals, my amazing schoolmates in bromley high school, my big house, my favourite shopping centre(the glades), i miss it all...:'( what happened to me?! back then, money wasn't an issue, bitching was something we had never heard of, everybody was my friend well except for boys, my love life was non-existant and i didn't have to worry abt Os! i feel so sad! i wanna go back to kindergarten!
well anyway, i was mixing cookie dough just now when the oven blew :( so i resorted to the toaster oven. note to self: you can't bake cookies in a toaster oven!!! so right now, i am left with a lot of mush :s
+ AMEN